Monday, September 11, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Magick
I quickly looked over the teeth of the saw.While not as sharp as I would have liked,the dullness would actually slow the cutting down enough that I would not have to worry about Nik hammering at it too hard.What some people called life experience,I called the magick of fucking up religiously.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Quixotic
I had no Quixotic aspirations.I didn't chase windmills...they chased me.I had no intentions on being the hero here.The secret was not in the cut-any idiot paying half attention could do it-it was in the pull,"This is your baby,Nik.Cut about a half inch above your bottom cut.And cut to the right:slowly.Leave the left alone.When you feel it start to go:stop cutting,and get the hell out of Dodge."
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday
Nik turned off the chainsaw and threw his earmuffs down,"It was cutting like a raped ape,then suddenly it was dullar then a small town on a Tuesday night,"he said holding up the saw.I walked to the tree.The inside was hollow with a detritus of rocks,nuts and thick soil.The left side was thin and didn't look like it would hold.Shit!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Disingenuous
Most trees were kind,passive beings,but every once in awhile you would cross a disingenuous soul so dark that you would actually believe that the tree was fighting you as you tried to cut it off from it's very literal root.As Nik finished his top cut,the wedge popped out too easily...Utt Ooh..trouble.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Twilight
Monday, August 28, 2006
Barnacle
Another reason to have a sharpened chainsaw was because I've seen too many things inside of a tree trunk that could make them go duller then a small town on a Tuesday night.Ice,nails,fence wire,golf balls,an old pirate ship,complete with a barnacle or two.Hell,'my own' chain had even caught squirrel tails,bird feathers and a colony of ants soo thick that it looked like water pouring out from the stump.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Scarf
In the time it took Nik to finish sharpening the saw,I openned the truck door,reached into my McDonald's bag,and finished the other half of my Big Mac.I just as quickly drank down the rest of my now luke-warm Coca~Cola.I offered Nik the rest of my fries.I didn't stay around to watch him scarf them down.I simply took the sledge and wedge,put them by the edge of the tree and grabbed the pull rope.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Cheesybread
"It's just cheesybread comments like that that make me think how bad war must really be,"Nik said,flipping the file around to the teeth on the other side of the blade.The file slipped and he took a slice out of his finger,"Ouch,"Nik said first shaking his finger then sucking on it ,"Seems like dumb shit to me."
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Pretibial
"How the hell you ever start drinking that pirate concoction anyway,Nik?" "My cousin,Dave,"he said,"Lost half his leg in Iraq.They gave him this fake leg.He calls it his 'Pretibial Peg Leg Ass Kicker'.We'd sit around his camp fire on his back patio and drink 'um.Dave says they ain't real flips unless you stick a hot poker in 'um just before you drink 'em."
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Grok
"Soooo,"I said,as we reached my pick up truck,"Are you going to be drinking any of your grok with Alice tonight?"Nik grabbed the files and turned to me,"First off,Drew,it's 'Grog',and it's a pussy's drink...just watered down rum.I drink 'Flips'...dark beer,rum and molasses.It's what real pirates drank.It's what I drink."A smile crept upon his face,"But yes,'WE' might be drinking some."
Friday, August 18, 2006
Vacuous
In tree work,you rise through the ranks by starting off as a 'ground man'(an empty headed vacuous lout).As you gain knowledge,you work your way through the alphabet from 'D'
man-all the way up to 'A'(a super duper tree man).On paper,an 'A' man should be able to do everything.But very few men ever reach every stage of 'A'-ness.In fact,you can be an 'A',in say,knot tying,but still a 'B' or 'C' in saw cutting.Few trimmers ever become an all out-flow blown 'A'man' in every aspect of their game.
man-all the way up to 'A'(a super duper tree man).On paper,an 'A' man should be able to do everything.But very few men ever reach every stage of 'A'-ness.In fact,you can be an 'A',in say,knot tying,but still a 'B' or 'C' in saw cutting.Few trimmers ever become an all out-flow blown 'A'man' in every aspect of their game.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Docile
"All gassed and oiled,Chief,"Nikolas said handing me the big chainsaw."Whoa,my Padawan learner,how sharp is she?"I asked,knowing full well the answer."I didn't hit anything with it,"he replied.I handed it back to him,"Well,then you notch and flop it,I'll pull the rope.""Uhm,Maybe I should sharpen it first,"He said,walking back to the truck."I smiled,it didn't pay to let them get too docile on you in the tree business
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Detritus
I put the coiled rope between my legs,made a few quick wraps and finished by making a slip-knot and tightening it.I threw it by the large trunk that I had just fell.The center,while hallow,was not empty.It was filled with a detritus of rotting wood,dirt,and bugs.It crumbled in my gloved hand.Huh,it was like soil from twelve feet above ground.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Mollycoddle
I noticed that Nik had stopped working while I was coiling up my rope...probably thinking about this Alice girl.I didn't want Nik to think I would 'mollycoddle' to him just because I liked him,"Yoh,homey,are you going to read haikus all day or are you gonna get back to work?"He stuffed his letter back into his pant's pocket.
Haiku
"So,does this girl have a name?"I asked rappelling down to the ground."Uh,"Nik said pulling out a crumbled up piece of paper from his pocket,"It says,'SBS haiku':
'Osquer sits under
her own faery tree wishing
upon shooting stars'
No,wait,"he flipped the paper over,"It says her name is ,Alice."
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Tofurky(Just for SBS)
"What?"I said,wiping the sweat from my brow,"Please,don't tell me that she eats tofurky,and voted for Dennis Kucinich?">"No,man,she's nothing like that.She likes Jethro Tull,and is into poetry.">"Dam tree huggers,"I said,smiling.
Vodka/Aquarius
The trunk came crashing to the ground harder then a Russian on too much vodka.It busted up a dead branch and sent a piece flying over Nikolas'head."Headache!"I yelled as it whizzed pass him."Hey!watch it,"He yelped,"I've got this blind date with this Aquarius tonight,and her horoscope says she's gonna get lucky."
Friday, August 11, 2006
Rainbow
Determinedly,I started to cut the rest of the bastard off with my speedsaw.The quick sliver movement of my blade made me think of the old 'Rainbow',tune,'The Man On The Sliver Mountain'.I half sang/half yelled it while I pounded my way through the rest of the massive log,<"I'm the day,I'm the day.I can show you the way.And look I'm right beside you.I'm the night,I'm the night.I'm the dark and the light.With eyes that see inside you.Come down with fire.Lift my spirit higher.Someone's screaming my name.Come and make me holy again.I'm the man on the sliver mountain">.***Crrrraaack***Bang!PoP! She busted free!And began her descent
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Damage
Nik knew enough not to get under me while I was cutting.Any damage I would cause to the lawn was o-k'ed before hand by the owner,so that was not a problem.I was down to the last big piece of trunk.I quickly put my notch into the front;then I started my backcut.*SPRIIING*!Damn it!Two thirds through,my chain decided to pop off.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Meanwhile
Meanwhile,I had positioned myself perfectly in the tree to start hammering it.The shit was gonna fly,now.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Retreat to Sanity
Monday, July 24, 2006
Unto A Captive Audience
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sage

I*sighed*.While I did not consider myself to be an old sage,I definitely thought of myself as an'old school' thinker.Within the past decade,tree equipment technology had advanced leaps and bounds.I had tried most of it,and,it was easier...yet,I just felt more comfortable and at home with my older stuff.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Moonlight
Another song written by Nik on'The Cranberry Toes' playlist was a tune called ,'Wear wolf'.<"She only shopped by moonlight/in the hottness of the day/hunting for a bargin/keeping the hunger at bay/Aaah Ooooh she is the wear wolf/aaah Oooo look how much I saved/shopping like a corperate raider/forgetting the lay-a-way/bought the blouse at half price/look how little I paid/Aah Oooh aaaa aaah aaaH chew!">I was only half aware that I was tying a limb to be off roped.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Astonish
I quickly learned how Nik could really astonish me with his wit and wisdom.He created a song about Vic Morrow called, 'Vic Doesn't Wear Hats Now' that just blew me away.It went,"Vic doesn't wear hats now/He just doesn't use 'em/Vic doesn't wear hats now/He just doesn't need 'em/Vic,[there's no to] Morrow/Vic[There's no to]Morrow!'.I loved it,and now found myself singing it up in the trees.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Frugal
Nik was both the(left handed) bassist for his band and the lead singer,but he was not the main writer for the group.He wanted to change that.I encouraged him to let his mind become more open to the poetry already contained within his brain.Very quickly Nikolas became less and less frugal with his lyrics and form,and was singing his new material to me all the time.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Toes, Cranberry, Keys, Wedding, Smile, Letter Opener
I had to smile.Nikolas was in a punk rock group called,'The Cranberry Toes'.One time,while I was with Nik,I had used my keys as a letter opener on a wedding invitation.It was from one of our tree buddies named Oscar.Oscar had wanted Nik's band to play at his reception,but only if they knew some polkas.So,I taught him some.That was when he started singing out loud at work.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
phantasmagoria
In answer to my song I heard Nikolas reply with his own>"Phantasmagoria-Ga-ga-Ga-Gloria-Seeing things-in the clouds/Reverting-vertigo-upside down/RonaldMcDonald'sClown/flyingSupermanThroughTown/Daa da da da daa/Daa da da da daa/Phantasmagoria-Ga-ga-Ga-Gloria.">Sometimes,I didn't know why I encouraged him.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Beyond
I plopped the bowline down well beyond the crotch,and it fell almost directly to me.I hooked it with my speedsaw,and brought it into me to untie.">Ready to go, willin' to stay and pay U.S.A., U.S.A.So my sweet love can dance another free day U.S.A., U.S.A.<"I found myself happily singing my little ditty again.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Idea
I lopped the end of my rope with the bowline over the end of my pruner.The idea was to poke it up through the 'better' crotch above me,and handle all of my roping work from there.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Golden
[As I made a quick bowline at the end of my rope.]I swear I am easy to entertain.I know that the silver maple is called a silver because of the sheen of the underside of it's leaves,but I couldn't help but chuckle at my own stupid thoughts,anyway.Was the silver maple called a silver because it was a second rate maple tree?If so,then why wasn't there a golden maple?There were red maples,norway maples,japanese,papermark,and of course sugar maples.They all either glowed orange or 'golden' in the autumn...Maple syrup was sometimes called golden...so why isn't there a golden maple tree?
Friday, June 30, 2006
Blast
But next to the weeping willow this silver maple was going to be a blast.Maple is the perfect cutting wood.I hung my pruner up on a sucker,snapped my saw onto a side ring,and with a quick release knot,attacked my pull line.Whoot-whoo! I was ready to go!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Flexible
[Thanks to Osquer for this One Word]In some trees,like the weeping willow,you have to be more flexible then you have to be in other trees.A weeping willow can wrap you up in her lover's embrace and then suddenly before you know it,you are all tangled up in her spell.Without warning:*snap* you had better be able to bend to her will.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Broke
To be a good tree trimmer,sometimes you have to take chances.You have to walk too far out on a limb.You have to cut off too much.You have to rope too close.It is what makes or breaks you.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Pane
I loved Buster Keaton.I marveled at the risks he took for his art...like the falling house scene,where the whole side of the house falls down around him-only to miss him because he is standing directly under the spot of an empty window pane.That bit of genius inspired me to do as much for my art-tree trimming.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sketch
He tugged twice on my rope to let me know that everything was tied on.I started yanking the bobbing heavy equipment up to me.It always felt like an old black and white 'Buster Keaton' comedy sketch to me somehow.'watch the clumsy guy almost drop the funny tools on the bumbling man's head.'
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Purple
Finally,Nikolas tied the pull rope onto my line.To distinguish between the two ropes,I had put green electrical tape on the end of my rope and Blue-now faded to purple-tape onto the other.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Locked
Friday, June 23, 2006
Blonde
I watched as Nik quickly primed my saw,turned it off and then tied it onto my rope.Though Nikolas had black hair,ever since the incident,I came to sometimes calling him 'James Blonde agent 008'.He would always reply,"You are what you ate."
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Obscure
"It's funny,"Nik would comment later,"Once I knew it was there,it was all I could see.How could it have been so obscure?""Well,"I countered,"you only had it 'two years'!"
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Insult
In fact,until that moment,he did not know his name was contained within the tribal markings of the tattoo."Don't take it as an insult,"I remember drunkenly stating,"I never saw it either."
Flushed
Yet for all his youth,vigor,and handsome good looks,Nikolas could be simple and shy around people of certain moods.I laughed,and still laugh at how flushed his face became the time Kat gracefully touched his tattoo and explained how absolutely wonderful she thought it was to have his own name spelled out on his own arm.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tattoo
Nikolas ambled along at an easy gait carrying my tree saw,pole prunner and pull rope.He was 24, 6'2"tall,thin,but muscular with a dark golden tan.He wore a sleeveless,ripped to below his rib cage t-shirt.He had long black hair and a slightly
big,native American looking nose.He had a black tribal design tattoo wrapped
around his left forearm.And he was a happy lad.
big,native American looking nose.He had a black tribal design tattoo wrapped
around his left forearm.And he was a happy lad.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Urgent
I heard someone else singing their own happy song,<"It's so gosh darn urgent,urgent,emergency,urgent,urgent,urgent,emergency.">It was Nikolas bringing me my equipment singing his own happy version of,"Hi-Ho."
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Lift
<"Ain't getting old,ain't getting younger thoughJust getting used to the lay of the land.I ain't tongue-tied,just don't got nothin' to sayI'm proud to be livin' in the U.S.A.">,It was the little ditty I always sang joyously after I tied in.It never failed to lift my spirits
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Punch
I tossed my rope over the main crotch and brought it through both of my 'D' rings.I tied two half hitches.I took the tail,and wrapped it around the other end of my climbing line twice under and then twice over.I only had to punch it through the hole,lean back and tighten it,and wallah-the taunt line hitch was tight and I was tied in.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Free
I still was not tied in,but the rope that had looped itself around the small branch had popped itself free.All the while,I marveled at the cloud face.It's right eye was a perfect circle.The left eye-winking brilliantly through the moving wisps of cloud vapor-was the sun.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Faces
But still,I looked up.The clouds were making faces at me.One was the most amazing I have ever seen.The face was in a couple of clouds floating together.The top,two eyes.The bottom the happinest of smiles.But that wasn't the most amazing part..My jaw dropped..it appeared to be winking at me;-)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Emptiness
The rest of the climb to the top of the sixty five foot silver maple was uneventful.I looked down.Yes,I was a long way up.But it did not bother me(anything over fifteen feet would probably kill me,anyway).It was the looking up at the vast emptiness of the endless sky that bothered me.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
pushed
After my breather I set my self back to the task at hand.I wrapped my buckstrap around the left trunk,set my gaff,and pushed myself onward and upward.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Area
I scampered up the crotch.I felt most comfortable in it.As I caught my breath,I looked around,and smiled.This was a beautiful area.I felt exuberant,and glad to be alive.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Laugh
As I struggled up,my grasp began to give way.The bark ripped.I began to fall.Panic driven,I pushed myself higher with my muscular thigh.I had to laugh.I landed with my face directly in the crotch.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Drove
I drove my right spur in up even higher.As to taunt me,the two parts of the 'V' sprouted out wider at their bases.There would be no 'top' until I cleared it-only under.I took my gloves off and stuffed them in my belt.I grabbed hold(clawed) into the bark and heaved.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Sign
I took a deep heavy sigh to gain my courage.Maybe the rope wrapping around that small limb was a sign.I wasted what,five,ten minutes trying to do this the safe way?I replanted my left gaff,and unhooked my buckstrap:'Death or Glory'[becomes just another story].
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Usual
It took the usual several throws for me to get the rope back through the crotch.But again,it looped around the small branch.This time,however,it wrapped around it so tightly that there was no getting it off.Damn it.I guess I was gonna have to free climb this bastard afterall!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Gone
After three more throws,the ball fell through the crotch and proceeded to wrap itself around a new growth tiny little twig.I whipped some extra rope up to it,once,twice,and it loosened and fell.Now,if I yanked it just right,it would clear the limb,but not the crotch.'YANK!"Zoooom-it was off the limb and it was gone.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Charged
Pussy!?!Guilty as charged.Here I was throwing my rope twenty feet in the air,just so I would be tied in(or,at least having 'something' wrapped around the tree,somewhere)even when I was wearing spurs!But who gave a shit.I know other guys would have just hiked themselves over this dangerous obstruction,but,damn it,I'm not falling for nobody.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Cross
The monkey ball hit off the left trunk and bounced away from the crotch.I watched it as it fell helplessly down past me."Damn,it,"I cursed in a cross tone.
Leg
I brought the rope between my legs,made a few small coils,and gave myself some slack.Positioning was everything.I would either make it on the first throw,or it would take forever.After three or four practice movements,I tossed it high-almost twenty feet-it sailed well over the crotch that I was aiming for.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Supply
Friday, June 02, 2006
Commando
One of the main reasons I enjoyed tree trimming was the noise.The clanking of my equipment always made me feel like an army commando,or navy seal.This imaginary imagery also made me begin to think like one.I already had a stealthy plan on how to attack this tree.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Haste
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