Hidden/Mantle/Wanting

"After that,I had a general feeling of malaise.I felt lost....like wanting something I could never have.The best way that I can describe how I felt... is that it was like living in an old mansion,and somewhere inside this mansion were hidden passageways filled with secrets behind belief.And all I had to do was pull a secret book offs ome obscure mantle,and everthing would come to light...But I could never find it."